Preview for Monday!

Jonathan and I drive and talk before eating at Texas Roadhouse to plan out our Monday trip...Monday, Monday, MONDAY!

How Far Will You Go?

I love my laptop a lot and the opportunities it affords me, like sitting outside and enjoying the sunshine, win, weather and environment while typing and looking around all at the same time. I don’t even have to look at the screen to see what I am typing, I can just type and think and look around. I can’t do this with writing. I have to think about every word I write and watch it to make sure I am writing in the lines. I suppose I could get better at it and be able to write and not look at the paper, but I think that would be hard. This typing has come easily to me however ad I can do it with very little thought. In fact, I can almost type at the speed I think. Atleast, I can type much closer to that speed than I could if I were writing.

The reason I came outside to type, to sit and to think outside alone at all is that I often just do’t do it. I sit inside the house, or inside my room, or inside my classrooms at school and I am overcome with the darkness, or the sounds, or the expectations, responsibilities and chores. At home it is the trash, the dishes, the laundry, the cleaning up. In my room at school it is the writing e-mails, vacuuming the carpet, completing assignments, answering calls, finishing projects, filling out goals and talking with friends and neighbors. In the classroom it’s sitting sit, raising my hand, writing notes, answering questions, completing assignments, paying attention and smiling, laughing, grinning, smirking and blankly staring. When I’m at home I dream of adventures gone by and often get excited about having new adventures. At school I long for late night Gamecube excursions and hours and hours of frisbee playing. In the classroom I want to stand up on the desk, yell crazy caveman-like howl and rip open all of the curtains. I want to live outside and bask in the sunlight, run in the rain, dance in the snow, roll in the leaves, play in the dirt and fly against the wind. In so many ways I want to liberate myself from the confines of our society, culture, traditions and values. I want to smack off all of the excess pettiness that has clung to the core of what we all live for in the first place. I want to pull off all the excess layers of make-up and clothing and masks and accessories that distance me from those around me I love. I want to yell my feelings, whisper my dreams and embrace my true self around all of my neighbors instead of sitting quietly and raising my hand with the right answer. I want to get out of bed excited, I want to eat breakfast and taste it, I want to live throughout the day and feel it. I want to enjoy my life because I’m living and experience the journey because I’m journeying and I think I can do it. I think we can all do it a little at a time and a tiny bit each day. We all get the little feelings and the little inklings to do weird little things…like sitting on the driveway in a fold up chair with your laptop. Soon the inkling might be weirder and weirder and like my dad says, whatever you do it gets easier to do the next time. If you do what you want it will get easier to do what you want the next time. If you don’t do what you want, it will get easier to not do it the next time. Life is calling, how far will you go?

So Much

Friends. Friends. Friends. Family. Family. Family. Love. Love. Love. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Christmas. Confusion. Closeness. Appreciation. Hugs. Trees. Presents. Fires. Candy canes. Warmth. Food. Smells. Handshakes. Milkshakes. Chocolates. Socks. Couches. Movies. Classics. Brothers. Moms. Santa. Dads. Grandmothers. Aunts. Cousins. Grandfathers. Uncles. Old relatives. New relatives. Sisters. Carpet. Animals. Pets. Flowers. Cakes. Late nights. Early mornings. Sunrises. Phone calls. Letters. Money. Smiles. Surprises. Touches. Thoughts. Thank you’s. Travels. Reflections. Traditions. Experiences. New memories. New Year’s. New semester. New friends. New chances. New resolve. New loves. New. You. Me. Us. We.

So much to remember. So much to come.

A Kind of Alive

I think one of the surprisingly wonderful things about family is closeness - a kind of closeness that you can only achieve after years and years of being together. I’ve written about it before when winning small high school writing contests and acing english papers, but I think I have only fully appreciated this closeness recently.
Mostly this is a result of seeing my family, my childhood, my parents and my life in a new light. For the first time I see Nat Hellstrom and Judy Hellstrom, not my parents. I see Leighanna Hellstrom and Elias Hellstrom, not my siblings. I see my family, close and extended, near and far, not as ideas but as people. Saying that, I have found it much harder to love a person than to love an idea.
When I was a child my parents and my friends’ parents would fix us meals. We would get breakfast, snacks, lunch, snacks, dinner, dessert, snacks and all kinds of things in between. We would eat watermelons by the pool, pizza on the porch, grilled cheese inside homemade sheet/blanket tents, peanut butter and jelly after playing football in the yard and then some lemonade after I would mow it. I would get food, I would love the food and I would pretty much leave it at that. I used to tell Omega (my best friend Jessica’s mom) thank you for the little pizza she would make for us, but I didn’t think a whole lot about how Omega was feeling that day. I used to get excited and hug my parents when they would bring home Dominoes Pizza for dinner, but I didn’t think about how their relationship was going, how work was treating them, how that jury duty went, how it felt to be late on the electric bill or how that twenty-item household chore list was coming along. I wasn’t expected to think about it and I certainly didn’t offer up the consideration either.
The fact is, however, we college students are all getting older. We are paying for watermelons. We are making grilled cheeses. We make pizza, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and lemonades for ourselves. Not only that, we are proud of it and we often make quite a spectacle of ourselves. We eat homecooked meals and we think, holy snap…thank you. We do just what our parents always said we would do. We are becoming older, we are becoming adults and we are becoming appreciative. It’s rough and it’s tough, but it’s only fair. It’s real and it’s who we really are. When I say “I love you” to my mom and dad, when I hug my brother and sister and when I bring home a 2% milk carton it’s a lot different now. It means something different. It’s more closeness than I have ever felt before and it’s makes me feel much more alive than I ever did. It’s not like a “yippee!” kind of alive. It’s almost more like a…“thank you” kind of alive.

Impermenance

Impermenance is around us all the time and especially evident to me in my conversations with my friends and family. Unlike life, AIM has a “save as” button which allows me to catalogue conversations for the future. When I do save conversations though, that really brings something home to me: saving it isn’t what’s important. What is important is that it happened, that the conversation was shared, and that two or more people grew and learned together from one another.
Love, friendship, sharing, learning, listening, talking and caring about other people happens here and now. I listen, I share, I listen, I share and it’s over. We move away. We think. We reflect. We change. We learn. We become better people and we move on to other conversations. It is difficult, wonderful, beautiful and sad all at the same time but it is life and living. I love my friends and my family very much and I think about them very often throughout the day, but something much deeper flows throughout my time with each of them. Somehow my journey in life is intimately threaded throughout the people around me. Each stranger I greet and open a door for, each teacher I thank and learn from, each friend I spend hours with talking about life, each sibling I hug and play with and laugh with, each moment I share with others defines me in a very real way. I can’t click a “save as” button on my life and I think it is best I can’t. Loving it as it happens is the best way to live it I think; loving each moment and letting it go, savoring each smile and letting it go, sharing each word and letting it go.
Thank you all so much for so many wonderful memories, for so many wonderful adventures and great conversations. It is a pleasure knowing so many wonderful people and existing in between so much love and friendship and care and goodness. I look forward to many great moments and I am glad to have had this moment to write about just a few of them.

December Adventure!

This weekend was I think the best camping trip of my life. I have been on many trips, with many people, in many places, but this was the best yet. As I said in my Adventures journal, I am almost speechless at the collective awesomeness of Eagle Team and Bravo Team. Eagle Team was respresented by Anna “Mama Bird” Garrett, Danielle “Hawk-eye” Dolan, Josh “Rooster” Canup, Chase “Gully” Vaughan, Zoe “Wise Owl” Murray and Travis “Eagle 1” Hellstrom. Bravo Team was represented by Jodie “Osprey” Hall and Shaw “Albatross” Rowe. Together we hiked dozens of miles in below freezing weather, faired a pitch black set-up of camp, sang beautiful songs at well past midnight, laughed and giggled and played around for hours and hours and somehow still carried thousand pound packs and gear all the way back to the park entrance all within a 24-hour period. Everyone was so awesome, fun, wonderful, great, talented, rugged, impressive, funny, soothing, enjoyable, cheerful and outstanding. Maybe that is why this was the best camping trip I have every had. Maybe it’s also why I’ve never been happier or prouder to be part of Eagle Team.
I really appreciate the opportunity to be around so many wonderful people and I hope that I thank each of my wonderful team members throughout our winter break and then long after. Thank you all for everything and thank you especially to Albatross, Osprey, Gully and Rooster for great individual and group pictures! I look forward to more adventures soon and until then I will continue to reflect on your awesomeness, exactly like the movie. : )

- Eagle 1 Out -

December Adventure!

I am almost speechless at the collective awesomeness of Eagle Team and Bravo Team. You all hiked dozens of miles in below freezing weather, faired a pitch black set-up of camp, sang beautiful songs at well past midnight, laughed and giggled and played around for hours and hours and somehow still carried thousand pound packs and gear all the way back to the park entrance all within a 24-hour period. Mama Bird, Hawk-eye, Rooster, Gully, Wise Owl, Osprey and Albatross...I don't know what else to say. You are all awesome, fun, wonderful, great, talented, rugged, impressive, funny, soothing, enjoyable, cheerful and outstanding. You make me very happy and very proud to be a part of Eagle Team. Thank you all for everything and thank you especially to Albatross, Osprey, Gully and Rooster for great individual and group pictures! I look forward to more adventures soon and until then I will continue to reflect on your awesomeness, just like in the movie. : )

- Eagle 1 Out -

Baby Steps

Ever had a day where you planned to do a lot and then…didn’t do it? Man have I. Too many it seems some times. It’s like planning, goal setting, priorities and task lists can be so fun and hopeful but then the accomplishment of those things can be downright depressing. First you have goals, then priorities, then outlined tasks and then the needed action itself. At first I say, “I have to study atleast 3 hours tonight for Zoology.” This is a good start, but then I take it a step further, “Tonight I plan to study Zoology from 6 to 9pm.” Even better, but still it’s not a very specific goal. How about this one, “From 6 to 9pm tonight I am going to take my Zoology review materials for my final and I’m going to compile my list of review session notes, my class notes and the figures we need to study all into one document.” Personally, this is much more guiding and helpful. Now I know what I am shooting for and I can even plan to meet with other students with this document to share it, tweak it and eventually even approach the teacher to see how the old tests compare to what I’ve been studying.
In What About Bob? Dr. Leo Marvin (played by Richard Dreyfuss) treats a sociopath named Bob Wiley (played by Bill Murray). In their first session together, Dr. Marvin gives Bob a book called Baby Steps. It is about setting small, reasonable goals to help one get through the day. I think those “baby steps” are helping in the goal setting I am talking about. We have to be reasonable with ourselves and often patient in reaching our goals, however big they might be.

"When thinking about leaving Bob,” said Dr. Marvin, “don’t think about everything you have to do to get out of this building. First just think about everything you have to do to get out of this room, then the office, then the hallway…see?”

“Baby steps…” said Bob. Baby steps.

Different

Often I have the opportunity to meet people who believe things other than I do about all sorts of matters. Those opportunities can be very scary at first and a thousand questions run through my head. Will I be accepted for who I am? Will I treat them how I like to be treated? Will they understand what I am trying to explain? Will they still like me? Will I still like them?
Often that fear slips away when we start to talk, and continue to talk, and don’t stop talking for hours. Language can be a beautiful method of communication about things which regularly cannot be spoken. Words can somehow mix with gestures, feelings and glances in a way which gets across an idea to another person and suddenly something happens. The other person hears you. You hear the other person. You both listen. You both start to learn from each other. Isn’t that the heart of understanding, knowledge and experience? We don’t know anything more than we know, so how can we create anything new? I don’t think we can. I think to understand something new, we have to put ourselves in scary, new, and exciting danger zones. We have to travel, we have to share, we have to make ourselves vulnerable. When we do this we are able to take in new scenery and new ideas, new ways of looking at things and new ways of experienceing life.
This can go for friends, strangers, family members and lovers. It can go for students, teachers, mentors and mentorees. For me it often happens with spiritual people who have a quality which is hard to describe – almost like a kind of peace in their minds. There are certain people who are wonderful to be around because they don’t want you to be anyone other than yourself. When you are around them you relax, you can just be yourself forever. With those kinds of people I relax. I often want to stay with them forever. We usually think about things very differently, but that has nothing to do with anything. What matters is that indescribable something which makes it possible for me to be myself around them. After such an experience this weekend I read my thought of the day from the Dalai Lama:

The spiritual discovery of people of other faiths is the greatest challenge of the twenty-first century. Some will see this as a threast to identity, others will see this as a completion of identity, the discovery of lost cousins and their worlds. The essence of humility.

Humility and friendship I would say...what a wonderful challenge.

Kickball Kickoff!

Elementary school isn’t the only place kids play kickball. Today ten college kids got themselves out of bed on a Saturday morning and brought back the memories - running, diving, throwing, catching, passing, launching, rolling, frolicking, kicking and screaming. Team members included:

• Toni-Lyn “Veteran Pitcher and Announcer” Keller
• Chase “This Is Gonna Be Iffy” Vaughan
• Shaw “Oh Wait, I Have an Idea” Rowe
• Josh “Yeah, We’re Coming” McKinnon
• Matt “Back Up, He’s Kicking” Conover
• Travis “Kick It Right Here Baby” Hellstrom
• Jodie “Delete That Picture!” Hall
• Edmond “Base Diving” Bailey
• Megan “No, Don’t!” Rowe
• Heather “Let’s be The Cool Kids” Davis

For the pyramid, for the laying down line-up, for the still shot base dive, for the crumpling first base gut shot, for the long distance catches, for the long distance misses, for the hits, bunts, fake-outs, laughs, craziness and friendship, thank you each very much. It’s fun to be able to relax with friends who can have so much fun together. I think the grass stains will come out, but I have a feeling the smiles are going to stay right where they are.

Kickball Kickoff!

Elementary school isn’t the only place kids play kickball. Today ten college kids got themselves out of bed on a Saturday morning and brought back the memories - running, diving, throwing, catching, passing, launching, rolling, frolicking, kicking and screaming. Team members included:

• Toni-Lyn “Veteran Pitcher and Announcer” Keller
• Chase “This Is Gonna Be Iffy” Vaughan
• Shaw “Oh Wait, I Have an Idea” Rowe
• Josh “Yeah, We’re Coming” McKinnon
• Matt “Back Up, He’s Kicking” Conover
• Travis “Kick It Right Here Baby” Hellstrom
• Jodie “Delete That Picture!” Hall
• Edmond “Base Diving” Bailey
• Megan “No, Don’t!” Rowe
• Heather “Let’s be The Cool Kids” Davis

For the pyramid, for the laying down line-up, for the still shot base dive, for the crumpling first base gut shot, for the long distance catches, for the long distance misses, for the hits, bunts, fake-outs, laughs, craziness and friendship, thank you each very much. It’s fun to be able to relax with friends who can have so much fun together. I think the grass stains will come out, but I have a feeling the smiles are going to stay right where they are.

Kentucky Thanksgiving!

Explorations with the wonderful family Hellstrom. My dad, sister and brother were at hand to travel to Kentucky for a great Thanksgiving with our grandparents Papa Ward and Grandma Louise. Good work you border hoppers of happiness, you globe trotters of turkeys, you television watchers of weirdness. It was a pleasure, as always. Thank you for the re-energization and love.

Thanks-giving

What is love? What is thanksgiving? What is family? You got me. That’s a tough question. Well, it’s a tough question to answer in words. Come with my Kentucky and I can show you, laugh with us and you can hear it, hug us and you can feel it, look at us and you can see it, kiss us and you can taste it? Whatever it is, it’s an experience. It’s a way of living and showing and sharing and thinking and being. I felt it sleeping in a Anna-made quilt bed on the floor, I tasted it in turkey gravy and hot dogs, I hear it in my dad’s laugh during Tremors, I squeezed it between my arms as I grabbed onto my brother and sister. You know what else, I think I felt it when I was driving home. I heard it in other people’s voices when we spoke after a welcomed break from school, I saw it in their eyes as we laughed over our fun experiences, I tasted it in Josh’s homemade cookies (even the orange ones). I know you feel it. What do you think it is? How do you get more of it? Weird enough, I bet you get it when you hand it at someone else. Happy Thanks-giving.

Diss Organization

It is so funny to me, how I can live in a world of organization and disorganization all at the same time…and love it! I have this need at one moment to organize and categorize: to make a neat room, update a filing system, clean up my address book, fill in my planner, organize my classroom binders, clean out my car trunk and thin out my wallet. Then in the next moment I feel a need to be messy and unjudging of any of it: to take spontaneous trips, throw my papers whenever, not follow my planner, don’t do my homework, leave my car messy, forget my wallet, be late for an appointment and maybe just not go at all. I have this love of being early, neat, tidy and organized and then a love of being late, messy, dirty, and carefree all in the same mind. I have planned out wonderful trips months in advance and taken trips that I was invited to that afternoon. I have planned out conversations weeks in advance and had others spur of the moment until 4am the next morning. I have been early to every class all semester and then five minutes to every class the next semester. I have lived in a world of 15-minute Outlook time fragments for an entire year and then the next year not looked at Outlook for weeks. Somehow I have lived in both worlds and somehow I haven’t just chosen one over the other.

Maybe the truth is, we don’t have to choose. Maybe considering it Organized vs. Disorganized is just too simple. For example, consider the two sides with words like these:

• Organized - planned, productive, practical, timely, precise, thoughtful, organized, neat, respectful, clean and simple.
• Disorganized - carefree, messy, spontaneous, random, lighthearted, fun, lost, unjudging and relaxed.

Is that reasonable? Can’t we be planned and organized, but ready for spontaneity and fun. Can’t we be carefree and lighthearted but precise and productive? I think we all prove that we can be everyday. I think the real question is how we can find ourselves within organization itself. I can live with Outlook and organize my life in a way that helps me enjoy it more, but I can also take that too far and start living through it enjoying my life less. I can live with my computer and keep it together in a way that helps me record, plan and enjoy my life more, but I can also get all caught up in it and waste my life on it. I can live with my friends, family, clubs, classes, work, exercise and spirituality all in the same way. Speaking of which, I’m gonna play a game with my little brother…on the computer…right now. : )

Fixing the Roof

Driving through beautiful weather while home in Hickory.

Reflecting on college

Thinking on a great car ride home

Driving Home

Reflecting on wonderful adventures

Bonfire Bonanza!

The word bonanza can mean a source of wealth which yields great riches or success and it can also be something that is very valuable, profitable or rewarding. For me it was both and it occurred at a very enjoyable bonfire last night. Friends, love, appreciation, humor, comfort, warmth, closeness, conversation, beautiful stars and wonderful smiles all collected together in what I think was a bonanza. Apparently sometimes happiness is as simple as great people, great apple cider, a warm fire and a few hershey bars, marshmallows and graham crackers. Thank you all for so much fun.

Promise Yourself

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness & prosperity to every person you meet. To make all your friends feel that there is something in them. To look at the sunny side of everything & make your optimism come true. To think only of the best, to work only for the best, & expect only the best. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. To forget the mistakes of the past & press on to the greater achievements of the future. To wear a cheerful countenance at all times & give every living creature you meet a smile. To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. To be far too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

~ Christina D. Larson

I just found this little bit of wisdom stashed away in pictures of my family and my childhood and right behind it I found my birth announcement from the Gainesville Sun the day I was born. Both are from my mother. She is the woman who is especially good at helping me to feel loved and the woman who collects these kinds of things for me to help me through life. In fact, most of what I call my success has come from what my mother has given to me over the last twenty years: her thoughts, her encouragement, her lessons and her hopes for my life. This little saying of wisdom is something I have tried to live out for years. Coming across it, I think I know why. These are the kinds of things my mother teaches and lives out every day. I am now hanging up the saying on my wall, but what makes me so happy is that I don’t have to. What’s important is that it is already hung in my heart…right where my mother put it a long time ago.

Bonfire Bonanza!

This Friday night we found ourselves exploring s'more possibilities on a chilly night with the excitements and warmth of great people and a great bonfire. Thank you Shaw for a very awesome time, and thank you everyone for being very awesome people. When surrounded by such awesomeness, sometimes all I have to do is just sit there and let it all soak in...apple cider and all.

Exploris Adventure!

Put the right three people together and adventures will happen from sun up to sundown in Buies Creek, Fuquay Varina, Raleigh and Garner all in one day. Add to that enthusiasm, humor, a great sense of fun, personality and awesomeness and there you have the ingredients for a wonderful adventure. Thank you Danielle and Chase for so much fun – I really enjoyed the early breakfast, pajamas, bird names, randomness, coins, seven dwarf powers, Grot, Exploris museum, laughs, puppets, cans in a circle k, Goodberry’s, great car rides and wonderful conversation. What a wonderful time!

Exploris Adventure!

Put the right three people together and adventures will happen from sun up to sundown in Buies Creek, Fuquay Varina, Raleigh and Garner all in one day. Add to that: enthusiasm, humor, a great sense of fun, personality and awesomeness and there you have the ingredients for a wonderful adventure. Thank you Danielle and Chase for so much fun – I really enjoyed the early breakfast, pajamas, bird names, randomness, coins, seven dwarf powers, Grot, Exploris museum, laughs, puppets, circle k’s by cans, Goodberry’s, great car rides and wonderful conversation.

Frisbee and Fish Traps!

What a wonderful time and what a wonderful weekend! On Friday night, with Anna, Danielle, Josh, Shaw, and Chase, I was able to play frisbee and watch Saw in the creepy basement of the L.H. Campbell Hall of Science. Then early Saturday Danielle, Meghan, Shaw, Chase and I were up to explore Raven Rock while taking plenty of pictures. We got to visit Fish Traps on the northeastern side of the state park and also get a great hike in together. Thank you each so much for so much fun. I am very glad to be able to hang out with such great friends. In the words of Shaw Rowe: "You can not ask for more than the beautiful outdoors and wonderful people."

Frisbees, Frights, Friday Nights

What a wonderful time and what a wonderful weekend! On Friday night, with Anna, Danielle, Josh, Shaw, and Chase, I was able to play frisbee and watch Saw in the creepy basement of the L.H. Campbell Hall of Science. Then early Saturday Danielle, Meghan, Shaw, Chase and I were up to explore Raven Rock while taking plenty of pictures. We got to visit Fish Traps on the northeastern side of the state park and also get a great hike in together. Thank you each so much for so much fun. I am very glad to be able to hang out with such great friends.

Telling

In life we all have the unique opportunity of getting to know others while moving through progressive stages of closeness. Naturally we are uncomfortable, not used to change and in many ways unsure of our next step. So often we move through stages of romance and illusion but then stop at a stage of criticism. However, the next step can be the most important, it is the stage of understanding, appreciation and acceptance. In a short story I heard recently, a man commented on how he changed his relationship with his wife. He wrote, “What really worked well wasn’t being critical of her, goodness knows she could think up as many things wrong with me. What worked was understanding her, appreciating her and letting her know that I accepted her for who she was. What I got in return was much more than I ever anticipated.” That is what I want to share here. I want to share what I have come to understand about Campbell, what I appreciate about it and how I have come to accept Campbell for the place that it is.

Campbell University’s Forward Thinking is something that has become apparent to me over the last few years. Being a junior this year, I have seen many changes take place on Campbell’s campus. I have watched the Inauguration of Campbell’s fourth President and sat where a new fountain is now built. I have walked past a renovated D. Rich which was in the middle of renovation one year earlier. I have seen Buies Creek’s first four-story building erected, watched the removal of structures all over campus and witnessed a massive overhaul of dining services all across campus. Visiting Dr. Campbell’s grave before sitting in front of his university’s fourth presidential inauguration I thought to myself, “It’s all still going along.” Everything is flexible, everything is growing and changing, and all that I enjoy here is the work of many many people whom I will never meet. Yet something in all of these activities tells me that it is all going in the right direction. I think, since 1887, the mission has stayed the same. I attribute that to vision and forward thinking, which Campbell University is really doing well.

Dr. Peterman and other professors who I have been honored to know remind me of what college is designed to be. I have now lost count of the times I have walked into Dr. Peterman’s office just to talk. She, like so many other professors at Campbell, shows me what it means to be aware and attentive. Sometimes people just get it, they understand what their time is worth and they dedicate themselves to constant self-evaluation. When I stand at her door, she drops everything and smiles, telling me to come sit down. She could tell me she was busy and I wouldn’t bother her, because I know she is. She could talk but tell me she only a few minutes and I would be quick, because I know she does. Yet, she doesn’t. She doesn’t tell me she is busy and she doesn’t tell me to rush. We talk, I ask for guidance, she mentors, we laugh and I walk away a better version of myself because of her. This is very normal for her, and thankfully it is normal for me too. I think that’s because it is a matter of integrity, of purpose and of utmost meaning to her as a teacher. Of course she spends time with students, that’s what she’s here for. That’s what so many teachers at Campbell are here for.

Student Activities, in all of my dealings with them over the years, has been a department that really cares a lot about students. I have seen the development of Student Activities under both Tracy Renfro and Trisha Walsh in my years here at Campbell and by and large I think my experience has been momentous. Freshman year I and another student chartered a club on campus named Circle K, the collegiate Kiwanis organization. Since then our club has gone on to become one of the largest in the school, boasting over 3000 volunteer hours in our first two years and well over 100 students involved in our activities each semester. While this success points to many things, I think in large part it has been due to the strength and leadership available to us through Student Activities. Together with SGA and energetic leaders responsive to change and fresh ideas, I have been met ten times with “we can do this together” for every one time I’ve heard “we can’t do that.” Knowing that everyone around us is willing to help, Campbell has challenged me and those around me to ask, “What can I do to change this?” and “How hard am I willing to work?” Success at Campbell rewards effort.

Campus Community means something special to me at Campbell. I am still amazed at it, and I have told my story dozens of times to crowds of two and crowds of two hundred. Freshman year, before starting Circle K, I drove around the community to ask community leaders how I could help around campus. Driving into Lillington I stopped to ask the mayor’s secretary. She told me to ask the mayor, who said I should ask the Chamber of Commerce. There Mrs. Linda Johnson told me to ask the County offices but I got lost and couldn’t find them and instead found the NC Cooperative Extensions office on Main Street. Randomly I asked the secretary there the same question, “Do you know who I might ask about volunteer opportunities available to me in the community?” She took me to Wanda Hardison, who told me to ask John Powell in Buies Creek, who told me to ask Jim Roberts in the Physical Plant, who told me to come to a Kiwanis meeting in Marshbanks the next morning. I brought a friend and that morning we left the meeting determined to start a club. We knew we wanted to help the community and luckily the community was able to help itself all the way up until then. Every time I tell this story I make the point that we all have to opportunity to serve others, even if it just means pointing in the right direction. At our NC/SC Convention for Circle K, I gave my speech about this experience to hundreds of students and I will likely give the speech to thousands at International Convention next year. I have told this story to many people and I especially appreciate the opportunity to tell it to you. Campbell has something special and somewhere in between those seven people I feel like I got to experience it myself.

Campbell wasn’t what I was expecting. I consider myself spiritual but not religious, I have gone to public school but never private, and I always thought of myself as tolerant before my experience here. After coming to Campbell, I have seen what value religion can bring to peoples’ lives while at the same time studying organic chemistry and examining the nature of science. I have seen what life is like in a private university compared to the lives my friends who are in public universities and maybe most of all, I have realized that I have a lot to learn. When I came to Campbell I arrived as a high school Student of the Year, Senior of the Year, Eagle Scout, President, Chairman and Captain. Now that I am leaving Campbell next year, I feel like the one thing I want to leave as is a human. I want to be understanding, appreciative and accepting of others. I want to understand my role in our world, my capacity to help others, and my journey to do it. I want to not take for granted all of the innocence that I enter into the world with and instead appreciate all of the effort that was necessary to make it possible. Maybe most of all, I want to accept others for who they are, whether they are like me or not. I have seen what’s it’s like to live with others and to develop through the stages of relationships. Knowing what comes after criticism, I want to move into appreciation and understanding. The world offers me a great array of opportunities and Campbell has allowed me a place, a people and a time through which to see that. Campbell is doing a lot of things right and I appreciate you allowing me the time to tell you that.

Goals/Advocations

I ran across these “Goals/Advocations” which I wrote for myself back in high school:

• Never be prejudiced
  
• See the very best in everything
  
• Don’t change beliefs and morals
  
• Protect and teach everyone you can
  
• Don’t make enemies
  
• Don’t be blinded by emotions
  
• Don’t hurt anyone unless a totally justifiable cause exists
  
• Always keep an open mind and listen more than you speak
  
• Recognize your weaknesses and strengthen them
  
• Always care
  
• Try your hardest to be fluent in the language of truth
  
• Continuously practice random acts of kindness on a regular basis

I think they are good and they were especially good when they were written. However, due to experience, I think we learn as we grow older and things become more deep in our hearts. Some of these goals, for example, mean a lot more to me now and some I’d like to clarify:

• Avoid being prejudiced by learning to be accepting, understanding and appreciative
  
• See the very best in everything and everyone
  
• Stand up for what you know to be right, but be flexible in understanding others
  
• Be careful to protect, teach and respect others whenever you can
  
• Don’t make enemies. Remember a smile is the shortest distance between two people
• Don’t be blinded by emotions. Be thoughtful, honest, compassionate and understanding.
• Don’t hurt anyone or anything
• Always keep an open mind and listen more than you speak
• Recognize your weaknesses and strengthen them
• Always care for world of people, animals and things around you
• Try your hardest to understand things as they really are and to be honest with yourself
• Regularly practice random acts of kindness

Michelangelo said, “"Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it." If anything, I think that’s what I’m doing here. We each develop and gain more and more experience, etching away toward the true picture of ourselves that was always there. Some day.

Halloween

Beautiful women, free money and candy, long walks under the stars, exciting adventures in the beginnings of winter and all on a Halloween night after a weekend of work for charity? How beautiful things can be and how beautiful people can be, it truly amazes me. Sometimes I can find just the right words to say, but sometimes I can’t find any. Thank you all so much, Anna, Danielle, Jodie, Ari and Shaw.

Halloween!

The second annual Haunted Trail has gone of wonderfully with over 500 people having attended and over $2300 raised for charity. In our lifetimes we have chances to surprise ourselves, to learn more about what we are capable of, and to help others grown along with us. The Haunted Trail has been one of these surprising, learning and growing experiences for me and for that I am very thankful. I appreciate the creativity, vision, hard work, dedication, humor and endurance that so many have shown to such a tremendous project and I hope that my hard work will continue to reflect that appreciation. Thank you all very much, Chase, Danielle, Anna, Lloyd, Randall, Earl, Josh, Matt, Chris, Joshua, Michael, Tahlia, Ashley, Lenny, Amy, James, Leechee, Katherine, Ari, Adam, Samy, Arnold, Justin, Troy, Ron, Phillip, Laura, Ray, Scott, Brooke, Philip, Lauren, Jenn, Shaw, Wyatt, Brittany, Jodie, Daniel, Randy, Jim, Vita, Nick, Toni-Lyn, Leighanna, Elias, Mom and Dad.

After this, we all went out on Monday night to Trick or Treat for UNICEF. Beautiful women, free money and candy, long walks under the stars, exciting adventures in the beginnings of winter and all on a Halloween night after a weekend of work for charity? How beautiful things can be and how beautiful people can be, it truly amazes me. Sometimes I can find just the right words to say, but sometimes I can’t find any. Thank you all so much, Anna, Danielle, Jodie, Ari and Shaw.

Haunted Trail!

This past weekend has been highly eventful and supremely wonderful. I was able to enjoy three action-packed nights of fun and terror at the Campbell Circle K Haunted Trail, starting October 28th and running until October 30th from dark to midnight each night. In the spirit of last year’s success, we were able to gather 300+ people on our first two nights and 460+ by our third night. These estimations do not yet include the money being gathered through advanced ticket sales and thus are expected to reach real admission numbers of over 500 for the weekend once all the numbers are in.
This means a few things for us as a club. First, we’re awesome. Second, our community is awesome. Third, Halloween and Haunted Trails are awesome. Fourth…we’ve done a lot of good and had a lot of fun. Together as a club we were able to gather hundreds of volunteer hours in one weekend with the collective effort of over 40 people who worked tirelessly in very cold conditions during very long nights. Together as a club we were able to scare and delight hundreds of people from our community as young as elementary school age children and as old as fifty and sixty year old adults. Together we set an example of what can be accomplished by many for the sake and enjoyment of many. I hope that together we may rejoice in all of our hard work. We have all learned a lot more about ourselves, been able to help others in our community and also helped to raise money for charities which will put our donations to good use. In our lifetimes we have chances to surprise ourselves, to learn more about what we are capable of, and to help others grown along with us. The Haunted Trail has been one of these surprising, learning and growing experiences for me and for that I am very thankful. I appreciate the creativity, vision, hard work, dedication, humor and endurance that so many have shown to such a tremendous project and I hope that my hard work will continue to reflect that appreciation. Thank you all very much, Chase, Danielle, Anna, Lloyd, Randall, Earl, Josh, Matt, Chris, Joshua, Michael, Tahlia, Ashley, Lenny, Amy, James, Leechee, Katherine, Ari, Adam, Samy, Arnold, Justin, Troy, Ron, Phillip, Laura, Ray, Scott, Brooke, Philip, Lauren, Jenn, Shaw, Wyatt, Brittany, Jodie, Daniel, Randy, Jim, Vita, Nick, Toni-Lyn, Leighanna, Elias, Mom and Dad.

Daylight Savings

In spring there exists the hour that never was. In fall there exists the hour that was…twice. Yes, my friends, you heard right. It’s Daylight Savings Time. On the last Sunday of October there exists an hour, between 1am and 2am, that exists twice. I was awake to experience this in all of its Microsoft Windows XP animated glory. I sat down aided by my DST ally (Chase) at 1:59 AM to see what would happen. What happened was truly earth shattering and I will re-enact it to share that experience with you viewers:

There I was, with the clock function opened up, watching the seconds tap by…1:59 AM and 45 seconds, 46, 47, 48…then I took a drink…55, 56, 57, 58, 59…(this felt like eternity)…1:00 AM!

WHAT!?!?!?

Yes, both you, I, Microsoft and the whole Eastern Standard Timed United States saw it right: we had reached the hour we past an hour ago. We had been transported directly from 1:59 AM to 1:00 AM with the nod of the President himself as he slumbered away in his White House comforter for one extra hour. Amen to that, and amen to this extra hour. I’ve spent a third of it writing this and looking for the President’s schedule for comformation, now I’ll spend the other two thirds doing what I figure the President has been doing all along, enjoying his extra hour of sleep. Goodnight my old timers, goodnight and sweet daylight savings time dreams.

Homecoming!

This past weekend I was able to enjoy so much! I was able to bake cookies with two wonderful girls for Josh Sand's birthday, I was able to enjoy Campbell's Homecoming street fair and parade and then I was able to relax with Shaw Rowe not just one but two nights in a row. How am I so lucky? I don't know a good answer, but I am going to keep taking pictures until I figure it out!

Thanks everyone for so much fun!

Homecoming

Today’s Homecoming activities were very exciting, enjoyable and rewarding. Congratulations to a great staff, administration and leadership team for making it such an exciting time for each of us. I was able to help with Circle K, Pre-Med Allied Health and Sauls Hall while still having plenty of time to enjoy myself.
First we started this morning with our Circle K table in the street fair area next to Marshbanks and the Fountain. There we showed our club movie, had Randy and Chase advertising the Haunted Trail in full character, gave out flyers and information and also helped explain Circle K to quite a few passersby. Thanks to Anna, Chase, Randy, Arnold, Troy and Chris this went on awesomely from 10am to 3pm.
Next was the parade! We had ourselves what really became a fun-filled hay ride for both kids and adults (or big kids) starring:

• Terrific Kids: Matt, Savannah, Daniel, Jeremy, Patton, Gavin, Abby and Corbin
• Circle Kers: David, Jenn, Anna, Amy, Jodie, Shaw, Travis and Zoe
• Kiwanians: Jerry and Lloyd

What a little adventure! We all had a wonderful time and it was great getting to meet some many nice kids. You were all Terrific Kids! Even you big college adult sized ones. Thanks everyone!

Great Fall Break

What a great fall break. I had plenty of time to enjoy myself, a great start to it all and so much fun. There was the River Adventure to start it off with on Tuesday, then partying and watching movies with Anna, David, Josh and Chris, NC State Fair Saturday with my good friend Michael, frisbee with Chase, Troy, Brandon and Daniel and then organizing like crazy, which was awesome. Overall, great. Thank you all so much for all the fun.

King's Dominion!

Now an annual event, the four boys trekked out to meet King's Dominion again October 2004. What would follow later would baffle minds for a long time to come. Travel all the way up to Washington, D.C. in the middle of the night just because...we're close to it? Yes.
Here's to you, Chris McMillan, Michael Sellers, Josh McKinnon and Travis Hellstrom, you explorers of the evening, landrovers of landmarks, adventurers of Americana. The adventures were mapped and the course was charted, with Honda in hand, the boys had come. Hello Lincoln, hello Congress, hello Einstein, Forrest Gump and DropZone. Hey, why is the Thomas Jefferson Memorial so far away?

A Clean Start

Cleaning is an activity which forces me to look at life as a big picture. Whatever it is that I’m cleaning, I always have to make the choice about what stays and what goes. My philosophy is that I can’t keep everything and I am much more productive and happy once I have only a few things. It’s hard. Cleaning means I look through my old receipts from freshman year which bring back great memories. I see a receipt for the Nightmare Before Christmas that I bought for my sister, receipts from the purchase of my first computer, mouse, keyboard, memory cards, camera and carrying cases. I remember getting my car inspected, buying new balance shoes once a year, depositing money from my job at CVS and ordering books, dozens and dozens of books. I have receipts from when I first came to college: one from when I bought my P.O. Box, one from the fan my mom and I bought from Bed Bath and Beyond, one from when I opened my First Citizens Bank account and even one from the Campbell Business Office.

Exploring one’s past is almost always a very pleasant experience, allowing us to be reassured of our worth, reminded of our experiences and provided hope for the future. It’s hard to throw things away, but moving on is at the heart of change. To have our recent experiences, we had to let go of our beginnings, our comfort and our certainty. Certainly to have our future adventures, we must let go of what is comfortable for us now. Like Calvin said to Hobbes in their last comic together:

Today is a day full of possibilities!
It’s a magical world, Hobbes, ol’ buddy…let’s go exploring!

Well-Directed

In the Dhammapada, the most authoritative teachings of Buddha, it is said in chapter three that:

A well-directed mind creates more well-being than the wholesome actions of parents toward their children.

I have thought to myself about parental love and wondered aloud to others at times whether it would be possible to love others like parents love their children. As most of us are intimately familiar parents care for their children to a point at which they say things like, “I want them to have a better life than I have had…I want them to have all of those things that I didn’t have…I want them to be better than I am.” How can that be so natural for us? Conversely, how can it be so naturally difficult for us to feel that way about our friends, our acquaintances or even strangers? I haven’t figured that out yet. However, I do find it interesting that this passage by the Buddha seems to address this question. If we are to have well-directed minds maybe we can bring that kind of parental love to others.

A wise man should pay attention to his mind, which is difficult to perceive. It is extremely subtle and wanders wherever it pleases. The mind, well-guarded and controlled, will bring him happiness.

I think that guard and control means many things, but first I think it starts with awareness. If we can be aware of ourselves and our thoughts we can begin to direct ourselves toward goodness, toward wholesomeness and toward happiness.

Knox's Korner

One of my favorite things to look at on the internet is Knox’s Korner, which is a site with clay animation. If you feel like looking at my top two favorites then check out Long Lost Brother and BoogieMonster. I hope you enjoy them, I know I enjoy them every time I watch them not to mention everytime I quote them. Ohh yes, and don't forget Glass of Water.

Fall Break!

Relaxing with a bunch of my friends, watching the Interpreter, Total Recall, cleaning, organizing, checking out the North Carolina State Fair for the first time ever with Michael Lee, putting things in order and getting time to enjoy some rest. Thank you all for a great fall break, great movies, great conversation and great fun. YOU BLEW MY COVER!

River Adventure!

During our Zoology lab we were able to explore the Upper Little River by canoe after canoe after canoe. Exciting, dangerous, adventurous and educational, the trip was quite a sucess. A few of us were soaked, all of us were tired and each of us has learned atleast one thing: canoeing is pretty awesome.

Scarowinds!

Over the last several hours, I have participated in many adventures. As the soft green light on my small glowstick medallion fades out, my evening comes to a slow and definite close. Our adventures took us from small Buies Creek on the road to Charlotte, home of Paramount’s Carowinds (and Scarowinds) while traveling in my Mercury Cougar and defying all laws of modern physics. Chris McMillan and Joshua Sands were my companions and fun, excitement and surprise were our muses. All in one day we dropped from up in the sky in Drop Zone, hurled through wooden crossbeams and tresses in The Hurler, gunned through tight turns and dives in Top Gun, rushed through gold mines and tunnels in Goldrusher, did our doo-ty in Scooby Doo’s Haunted Mansion, road through both North and South Carolina on Thunder Road, splashed our way through the Rip Roarin’ Rapids, haunted our way through Scarowinds, and then assimilated into the park’s most popular ride, the Borg Assimilator. Until recently, my love of roller coasters and theme parks was well hidden. Now I really enjoy myself at these parks and riding these rides. The front seat in Top Gun, for example, is awesome. Chris and I road it three times, once at midnight to finish the trip. Everything was so fun, and the company was so great. I appreciate all the excitement that Josh and Chris brought to the paramount day, I really enjoyed my Saturday this weekend and I am glad I was able to go. Long live the three adventurers…and the yellow duck too.

We're there baby!

When we arrived the clouds broke, what a beautful day!

Scoooooby Dooooby Doo! Ru-Oh!

Enveloped in Scarowinds's misty smoke

Passing the entrance and crossing the state line on our way out

All of us were all tuckered out before we got back at 3am