November 28, 2005

Kentucky Thanksgiving!

Explorations with the wonderful family Hellstrom. My dad, sister and brother were at hand to travel to Kentucky for a great Thanksgiving with our grandparents Papa Ward and Grandma Louise. Good work you border hoppers of happiness, you globe trotters of turkeys, you television watchers of weirdness. It was a pleasure, as always. Thank you for the re-energization and love.



Thanks-giving

What is love? What is thanksgiving? What is family? You got me. That’s a tough question. Well, it’s a tough question to answer in words. Come with my Kentucky and I can show you, laugh with us and you can hear it, hug us and you can feel it, look at us and you can see it, kiss us and you can taste it? Whatever it is, it’s an experience. It’s a way of living and showing and sharing and thinking and being. I felt it sleeping in a Anna-made quilt bed on the floor, I tasted it in turkey gravy and hot dogs, I hear it in my dad’s laugh during Tremors, I squeezed it between my arms as I grabbed onto my brother and sister. You know what else, I think I felt it when I was driving home. I heard it in other people’s voices when we spoke after a welcomed break from school, I saw it in their eyes as we laughed over our fun experiences, I tasted it in Josh’s homemade cookies (even the orange ones). I know you feel it. What do you think it is? How do you get more of it? Weird enough, I bet you get it when you hand it at someone else. Happy Thanks-giving.

November 24, 2005

Diss Organization

It is so funny to me, how I can live in a world of organization and disorganization all at the same time…and love it! I have this need at one moment to organize and categorize: to make a neat room, update a filing system, clean up my address book, fill in my planner, organize my classroom binders, clean out my car trunk and thin out my wallet. Then in the next moment I feel a need to be messy and unjudging of any of it: to take spontaneous trips, throw my papers whenever, not follow my planner, don’t do my homework, leave my car messy, forget my wallet, be late for an appointment and maybe just not go at all. I have this love of being early, neat, tidy and organized and then a love of being late, messy, dirty, and carefree all in the same mind. I have planned out wonderful trips months in advance and taken trips that I was invited to that afternoon. I have planned out conversations weeks in advance and had others spur of the moment until 4am the next morning. I have been early to every class all semester and then five minutes to every class the next semester. I have lived in a world of 15-minute Outlook time fragments for an entire year and then the next year not looked at Outlook for weeks. Somehow I have lived in both worlds and somehow I haven’t just chosen one over the other.

Maybe the truth is, we don’t have to choose. Maybe considering it Organized vs. Disorganized is just too simple. For example, consider the two sides with words like these:

  • Organized - planned, productive, practical, timely, precise, thoughtful, organized, neat, respectful, clean and simple.
  • Disorganized - carefree, messy, spontaneous, random, lighthearted, fun, lost, unjudging and relaxed.

Is that reasonable? Can’t we be planned and organized, but ready for spontaneity and fun. Can’t we be carefree and lighthearted but precise and productive? I think we all prove that we can be everyday. I think the real question is how we can find ourselves within organization itself. I can live with Outlook and organize my life in a way that helps me enjoy it more, but I can also take that too far and start living through it enjoying my life less. I can live with my computer and keep it together in a way that helps me record, plan and enjoy my life more, but I can also get all caught up in it and waste my life on it. I can live with my friends, family, clubs, classes, work, exercise and spirituality all in the same way. Speaking of which, I’m gonna play a game with my little brother…on the computer…right now. : )

November 22, 2005

Fixing the Roof

Driving through beautiful weather while home in Hickory.

this is an audio post - click to play

Reflecting on college

Thinking on a great car ride home

this is an audio post - click to play

November 21, 2005

Driving Home

Reflecting on wonderful adventures

this is an audio post - click to play

November 19, 2005

Bonfire Bonanza!

The word bonanza can mean a source of wealth which yields great riches or success and it can also be something that is very valuable, profitable or rewarding. For me it was both and it occurred at a very enjoyable bonfire last night. Friends, love, appreciation, humor, comfort, warmth, closeness, conversation, beautiful stars and wonderful smiles all collected together in what I think was a bonanza. Apparently sometimes happiness is as simple as great people, great apple cider, a warm fire and a few hershey bars, marshmallows and graham crackers. Thank you all for so much fun.

Promise Yourself

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. To talk health, happiness & prosperity to every person you meet. To make all your friends feel that there is something in them. To look at the sunny side of everything & make your optimism come true. To think only of the best, to work only for the best, & expect only the best. To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own. To forget the mistakes of the past & press on to the greater achievements of the future. To wear a cheerful countenance at all times & give every living creature you meet a smile. To give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. To be far too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.
~ Christina D. Larson

I just found this little bit of wisdom stashed away in pictures of my family and my childhood and right behind it I found my birth announcement from the Gainesville Sun the day I was born. Both are from my mother. She is the woman who is especially good at helping me to feel loved and the woman who collects these kinds of things for me to help me through life. In fact, most of what I call my success has come from what my mother has given to me over the last twenty years: her thoughts, her encouragement, her lessons and her hopes for my life. This little saying of wisdom is something I have tried to live out for years. Coming across it, I think I know why. These are the kinds of things my mother teaches and lives out every day. I am now hanging up the saying on my wall, but what makes me so happy is that I don’t have to. What’s important is that it is already hung in my heart…right where my mother put it a long time ago.

November 18, 2005

Bonfire Bonanza!

This Friday night we found ourselves exploring s'more possibilities on a chilly night with the excitements and warmth of great people and a great bonfire. Thank you Shaw for a very awesome time, and thank you everyone for being very awesome people. When surrounded by such awesomeness, sometimes all I have to do is just sit there and let it all soak in...apple cider and all.



November 12, 2005

Exploris Adventure!

Put the right three people together and adventures will happen from sun up to sundown in Buies Creek, Fuquay Varina, Raleigh and Garner all in one day. Add to that enthusiasm, humor, a great sense of fun, personality and awesomeness and there you have the ingredients for a wonderful adventure. Thank you Danielle and Chase for so much fun – I really enjoyed the early breakfast, pajamas, bird names, randomness, coins, seven dwarf powers, Grot, Exploris museum, laughs, puppets, cans in a circle k, Goodberry’s, great car rides and wonderful conversation. What a wonderful time!

Exploris Adventure!

Put the right three people together and adventures will happen from sun up to sundown in Buies Creek, Fuquay Varina, Raleigh and Garner all in one day. Add to that: enthusiasm, humor, a great sense of fun, personality and awesomeness and there you have the ingredients for a wonderful adventure. Thank you Danielle and Chase for so much fun – I really enjoyed the early breakfast, pajamas, bird names, randomness, coins, seven dwarf powers, Grot, Exploris museum, laughs, puppets, circle k’s by cans, Goodberry’s, great car rides and wonderful conversation.

November 6, 2005

Frisbee and Fish Traps!

What a wonderful time and what a wonderful weekend! On Friday night, with Anna, Danielle, Josh, Shaw, and Chase, I was able to play frisbee and watch Saw in the creepy basement of the L.H. Campbell Hall of Science. Then early Saturday Danielle, Meghan, Shaw, Chase and I were up to explore Raven Rock while taking plenty of pictures. We got to visit Fish Traps on the northeastern side of the state park and also get a great hike in together. Thank you each so much for so much fun. I am very glad to be able to hang out with such great friends. In the words of Shaw Rowe: "You can not ask for more than the beautiful outdoors and wonderful people."




Frisbees, Frights, Friday Nights

What a wonderful time and what a wonderful weekend! On Friday night, with Anna, Danielle, Josh, Shaw, and Chase, I was able to play frisbee and watch Saw in the creepy basement of the L.H. Campbell Hall of Science. Then early Saturday Danielle, Meghan, Shaw, Chase and I were up to explore Raven Rock while taking plenty of pictures. We got to visit Fish Traps on the northeastern side of the state park and also get a great hike in together. Thank you each so much for so much fun. I am very glad to be able to hang out with such great friends.

November 2, 2005

Telling

In life we all have the unique opportunity of getting to know others while moving through progressive stages of closeness. Naturally we are uncomfortable, not used to change and in many ways unsure of our next step. So often we move through stages of romance and illusion but then stop at a stage of criticism. However, the next step can be the most important, it is the stage of understanding, appreciation and acceptance. In a short story I heard recently, a man commented on how he changed his relationship with his wife. He wrote, “What really worked well wasn’t being critical of her, goodness knows she could think up as many things wrong with me. What worked was understanding her, appreciating her and letting her know that I accepted her for who she was. What I got in return was much more than I ever anticipated.” That is what I want to share here. I want to share what I have come to understand about Campbell, what I appreciate about it and how I have come to accept Campbell for the place that it is.

Campbell University’s Forward Thinking is something that has become apparent to me over the last few years. Being a junior this year, I have seen many changes take place on Campbell’s campus. I have watched the Inauguration of Campbell’s fourth President and sat where a new fountain is now built. I have walked past a renovated D. Rich which was in the middle of renovation one year earlier. I have seen Buies Creek’s first four-story building erected, watched the removal of structures all over campus and witnessed a massive overhaul of dining services all across campus. Visiting Dr. Campbell’s grave before sitting in front of his university’s fourth presidential inauguration I thought to myself, “It’s all still going along.” Everything is flexible, everything is growing and changing, and all that I enjoy here is the work of many many people whom I will never meet. Yet something in all of these activities tells me that it is all going in the right direction. I think, since 1887, the mission has stayed the same. I attribute that to vision and forward thinking, which Campbell University is really doing well.

Dr. Peterman and other professors who I have been honored to know remind me of what college is designed to be. I have now lost count of the times I have walked into Dr. Peterman’s office just to talk. She, like so many other professors at Campbell, shows me what it means to be aware and attentive. Sometimes people just get it, they understand what their time is worth and they dedicate themselves to constant self-evaluation. When I stand at her door, she drops everything and smiles, telling me to come sit down. She could tell me she was busy and I wouldn’t bother her, because I know she is. She could talk but tell me she only a few minutes and I would be quick, because I know she does. Yet, she doesn’t. She doesn’t tell me she is busy and she doesn’t tell me to rush. We talk, I ask for guidance, she mentors, we laugh and I walk away a better version of myself because of her. This is very normal for her, and thankfully it is normal for me too. I think that’s because it is a matter of integrity, of purpose and of utmost meaning to her as a teacher. Of course she spends time with students, that’s what she’s here for. That’s what so many teachers at Campbell are here for.

Student Activities, in all of my dealings with them over the years, has been a department that really cares a lot about students. I have seen the development of Student Activities under both Tracy Renfro and Trisha Walsh in my years here at Campbell and by and large I think my experience has been momentous. Freshman year I and another student chartered a club on campus named Circle K, the collegiate Kiwanis organization. Since then our club has gone on to become one of the largest in the school, boasting over 3000 volunteer hours in our first two years and well over 100 students involved in our activities each semester. While this success points to many things, I think in large part it has been due to the strength and leadership available to us through Student Activities. Together with SGA and energetic leaders responsive to change and fresh ideas, I have been met ten times with “we can do this together” for every one time I’ve heard “we can’t do that.” Knowing that everyone around us is willing to help, Campbell has challenged me and those around me to ask, “What can I do to change this?” and “How hard am I willing to work?” Success at Campbell rewards effort.

Campus Community means something special to me at Campbell. I am still amazed at it, and I have told my story dozens of times to crowds of two and crowds of two hundred. Freshman year, before starting Circle K, I drove around the community to ask community leaders how I could help around campus. Driving into Lillington I stopped to ask the mayor’s secretary. She told me to ask the mayor, who said I should ask the Chamber of Commerce. There Mrs. Linda Johnson told me to ask the County offices but I got lost and couldn’t find them and instead found the NC Cooperative Extensions office on Main Street. Randomly I asked the secretary there the same question, “Do you know who I might ask about volunteer opportunities available to me in the community?” She took me to Wanda Hardison, who told me to ask John Powell in Buies Creek, who told me to ask Jim Roberts in the Physical Plant, who told me to come to a Kiwanis meeting in Marshbanks the next morning. I brought a friend and that morning we left the meeting determined to start a club. We knew we wanted to help the community and luckily the community was able to help itself all the way up until then. Every time I tell this story I make the point that we all have to opportunity to serve others, even if it just means pointing in the right direction. At our NC/SC Convention for Circle K, I gave my speech about this experience to hundreds of students and I will likely give the speech to thousands at International Convention next year. I have told this story to many people and I especially appreciate the opportunity to tell it to you. Campbell has something special and somewhere in between those seven people I feel like I got to experience it myself.

Campbell wasn’t what I was expecting. I consider myself spiritual but not religious, I have gone to public school but never private, and I always thought of myself as tolerant before my experience here. After coming to Campbell, I have seen what value religion can bring to peoples’ lives while at the same time studying organic chemistry and examining the nature of science. I have seen what life is like in a private university compared to the lives my friends who are in public universities and maybe most of all, I have realized that I have a lot to learn. When I came to Campbell I arrived as a high school Student of the Year, Senior of the Year, Eagle Scout, President, Chairman and Captain. Now that I am leaving Campbell next year, I feel like the one thing I want to leave as is a human. I want to be understanding, appreciative and accepting of others. I want to understand my role in our world, my capacity to help others, and my journey to do it. I want to not take for granted all of the innocence that I enter into the world with and instead appreciate all of the effort that was necessary to make it possible. Maybe most of all, I want to accept others for who they are, whether they are like me or not. I have seen what’s it’s like to live with others and to develop through the stages of relationships. Knowing what comes after criticism, I want to move into appreciation and understanding. The world offers me a great array of opportunities and Campbell has allowed me a place, a people and a time through which to see that. Campbell is doing a lot of things right and I appreciate you allowing me the time to tell you that.

Goals/Advocations

I ran across these “Goals/Advocations” which I wrote for myself back in high school:
  • Never be prejudiced
  • See the very best in everything
  • Don’t change beliefs and morals
  • Protect and teach everyone you can
  • Don’t make enemies
  • Don’t be blinded by emotions
  • Don’t hurt anyone unless a totally justifiable cause exists
  • Always keep an open mind and listen more than you speak
  • Recognize your weaknesses and strengthen them
  • Always care
  • Try your hardest to be fluent in the language of truth
  • Continuously practice random acts of kindness on a regular basis
I think they are good and they were especially good when they were written. However, due to experience, I think we learn as we grow older and things become more deep in our hearts. Some of these goals, for example, mean a lot more to me now and some I’d like to clarify:
  • Avoid being prejudiced by learning to be accepting, understanding and appreciative
  • See the very best in everything and everyone
  • Stand up for what you know to be right, but be flexible in understanding others
  • Be careful to protect, teach and respect others whenever you can
  • Don’t make enemies. Remember a smile is the shortest distance between two people
  • Don’t be blinded by emotions. Be thoughtful, honest, compassionate and understanding.
  • Don’t hurt anyone or anything
  • Always keep an open mind and listen more than you speak
  • Recognize your weaknesses and strengthen them
  • Always care for world of people, animals and things around you
  • Try your hardest to understand things as they really are and to be honest with yourself
  • Regularly practice random acts of kindness
Michelangelo said, “"Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it." If anything, I think that’s what I’m doing here. We each develop and gain more and more experience, etching away toward the true picture of ourselves that was always there. Some day.