Chicago Retreat

I've found some internet at last, so I can title this audio clip. I'll be leaving Chicago tomorrow and things have been great. Since I recorded the clip, I've been able to see Venetian Night and the B'hai Temple which I will write more about soon.

Tampa International

I’m sitting at Tampa International waiting for our flight to Chicago-Midway. I was a little worried earlier after hearing so much in the news about terrorism on the airlines but now that I am here, I’m not so worried. Mostly, for me, because I think the security measures taken at the front of the gate were very thorough. As a kid I never worried much about flying in airplanes, and I’ve not been on many flights. So as events recently have created difficulty in the mass transit world, I’ve had plenty of time to think about things without having any positive experiences to reassure me.
And as far as positive experiences go, I feel like I have really been in a blessed position lately; I’ve gotten to go to Melbourne to see some great long time friends, I’m going to Chicago this week for six days to visit some of Nan’s friends, see Body Works, and other museum sights and city highlights and a few days after I arrive back from Chicago I will be hosting my great friends Michael and Jonathan as they visit Gainesville for about six days. A summer of studying is ending with quite a few firework-style blasts. If those three weren’t enough, the Circle K International Convention then takes place after I arrive back in North Carolina with the two awesome boys. Two days of rest after that five day blast, I will be taking on an exciting challenge of a test called the MCAT with a relaxing more back into school the following day.
As painful as planning can be for some, I have always enjoyed it. My problem has always been planning too much! And in fact, this entry is a great example. I am working hard to enjoy my time as it happens minute by minute, while still planning some to keep my excitement high. The plane is hear and we are starting to get antsy, it will probably be a while but eventually we will all be in Chicago starting quite a little adventure indeed!

My Dream Life

Live Your Life Like It Was A Dream, Not A Nightmare

I have heard this said, “Live your life as an exclamation, not an explanation,” and “Live your life so that if it were a story, would people enjoying listening to it.” I like the latter. We all have a story we would like to tell about our lives, to our friends, to our family and more than likely, eventually to our children. If you spend your whole life living some one else’s dreams, would you even enjoy telling it? I wouldn’t find it likely that anyone would.
I figure I have one chance to live out my life and it is up to me to make sure that it is lived in the best way possible. When I think about medical school, about graduate school, about my life and my family and what family I want to have as I grow older I realize now I am in a very fortunate position. I can decide what I want to do without having to support children at my young age, I can leave my country for trips and experiences that could last years, I could become anything I want to work hard enough to become, and all of this is possible to me right now. My parents didn’t have this decision for long at all before I was born and because they both worked so hard, I know I now have all of these choices.
Being in my grandma’s house over the summer has shown me a lot of things. Maybe most, I have seen how vulnerable childhood was and how much power my parents had to mold my life. Most of my childhood is a soft, faded memory but a very positive one with very little negative experiences. I have very few people to thank for that as much as my parents. My teachers, mentors, friends, friend families and extended family have all been great, which I gratefully acknowledge, but at my core my parents have been my strongest influences. I have them to thank for that, not in order importance but rather in order of partnership, my father Nat Hellstrom and my mother Judy Hellstrom. Thank you so much for such hard work. I love you both very much. If I am living a dream, which I am convinced that I am, it is my mother and father who rocked me and put me to sleep in the first place.

One!

Possibly one of the greatest ideas ever, three friends decide to drive across the entire state of North Carolina in under 24 hours. We dedicated our schedule to watching the sunrise in Boone and the sunset in Wilmington and succeeded in doing both, arriving back in Hickory 22 hours later. This exciting adventure is now available on DVD. The feature film One: Mountains to the Beach debuts July 2005. See your local video provider for details.

Melbourne Beach Retreat

Although a lot of this summer has been spent studying, I am pleased to say I was able to visit some very close friends this weekend in Melbourne. I was able to see Elisah, the newborn of Jimi and Christy Rainier, and I was also able to see the fantastic Palmisano Family including David, and as I left back for Gainesville, I was pleased to see not only Jessica Donisi on her birthday, but the whole Donisi Family. I am very glad to have had the break and even more pleased to have seen my most favorite Florida friends.

Growing Humanity

“It's not the honors and the prizes and the fancy outsides of life which ultimately nourish our souls. It's the knowing that we can be trusted, that we never have to fear the truth, that the bedrock of our very being is good stuff. That's what makes growing humanity the most potentially glorious enterprise on earth.”

From the mouth of one of our generation’s greatest advocates, these words are very inspiring to me. Thank you for all of your efforts, we all wish you could have left us a replacement, but there can be only one. Thank you Mr. Rogers.

Drawing to a Close

This MCAT class is just unbelievable in its scope and effectiveness. I know now after taking it that it is just what I needed. I have learned more over this summer than I have during any of the years of school at Campbell alone, simply because it is so comprehensive in its approach to the basic sciences covered by the Medical College Admissions Test. I feel like I could definitely have studied harder over this summer, to the effect of a high 35+ score. However as things stand now I think I am looking more at a high 20, low 30 based on my diagnostics and my current material coverage. I hope to boost my coverage in the next three weeks with focused and diligent efforts, but regardless, my time in the course has really been wonderful and is certainly worth the money. I really appreciate the opportunity to have taken it.

River Trip!

Four friends; Matt Conover, Josh McKinnon, Chris McMillan and Travis Hellstrom, on a kayaking trip to remember near Asheville, NC. They found new rocks in a north-flowing river, new character traits umongst each of them, a new appreciation for country living, a wearyness of old broken down buses and a mexican buffet? Ohh yes, how could they ever forget the mexican buffet, the two workers/hostesses/waiters/cooks/busboys, not to mention the evening after the meal. Long live Don Ponchos!

River Trip!

Four friends; Matt Conover, Josh McKinnon, Chris McMillan and Travis Hellstrom, on a kayaking trip to remember near Asheville, NC. They found new rocks in a north-flowing river, new character traits umongst each of them, a new appreciation for country living, a wearyness of old broken down buses and a mexican buffet? Ohh yes, how could they ever forget the mexican buffet, the two workers/hostesses/waiters/cooks/busboys, not to mention the evening after the meal. Long live Don Ponchos!

Happy Sparkelers Times!

I have really enjoyed the time I had this last month with my brother Elias. When my mom and he came to pick up Leighanna from Melbourne, Elias decided to stay here in Gainesville with me for a week and a half. It has been great for me to escape from my studying with him, to play on the Playstation, to go swimming, to drive around town and to watch movies together. Amazingly, we successfully viewed three trilogies during his stay: Indiana Jones, Back to the Future and the Pink Panther (the middle three). Talk about partying, man, we were beeboppin' and a skattin' all over the place. I've learned Nan was right, my brother is never too big to carry. I've also learned no matter how big I am Elias will always be able to pick me up.

My brother and I have officially celebrated the holiday, old-man-bike and sparkeler-style. We gathered our sparkeler gear, packed our pockets full of phosphorus matches and struck out on our Miami Sun three-wheeled beach bike. One lap around the neighborhood sufficed. We passed plenty of pleased peasantry on the way and made a miraculous time (from this point on Elias and Travis each added a word at a time) of doing great things with us. Happy Sparkeler Times we have succeeded! Now we will write about the new encounter with the July Praying Mantis. Travis almost fainted in seeing the mantis named “Killer”, jumping onto the camera that Travis threw to the ground. The batteries flew out of the camera, while he screamed like a girl. The mantis then jumped onto his leg while Travis threw around his leg trying to get it off, but the mantis clung to his sock and that was that. Thanks for staying Eli!

Mark Young

I feel extremely motivated after speaking with Mark Young after our last class together, Physics with the Princeton Review. He was accepted into Northwestern University from their waiting list and had to tell them his decision in two weeks, he accepted. He put down a thousand dollars on an apartment last week and was ready to start in August. Four days ago he received a call from another school, who told him he was accepted into their school. He accepted, giving up his scholarship at Northwestern. He will be attending Johns Hopkins in the Fall. I couldn’t believe I heard it, but after I talked to him I realize now that it is something that a good person can achieve. In Mark’s words, it can be the luck of the draw. After you get an interview, a lot of your success has to do with how well you perform there. He said his interview at Georgetown (ranked #46 on US News and World Report) didn’t go well and he didn’t get it. He said his interview at Johns Hopkins (ranked #1 on US News and World Report) did go well and he’s been accepted. I told him I’m really excited for him and I hope he does well. He appreciated my letter to him and I told him I’d like to stay in touch. If I ever needed any help or any questions answered, he said he’d be glad to help.

Rainier Wedding!

Here is a vintage shot taken during the post-wedding ceremonies in Satellite Beach, Florida celebrating the joining of Jimi and Christy Rainier. I had the honor of serving as one of Jimi's groomsmen, being with him and his family during a very exciting time in their lives, and celebrating together with all of them on June 19th, 2004. Congratulations Rainier Family!

Happy Sparkeler Times!

I have really enjoyed the time I had this last month with my brother Elias. When my mom and he came to pick up Leighanna from Melbourne, Elias decided to stay here in Gainesville with me for a week and a half. It has been great for me to escape from my studying with him, to play on the Playstation, to go swimming, to drive around town and to watch movies together. Amazingly, we successfully viewed three trilogies during his stay: Indiana Jones, Back to the Future and the Pink Panther (the middle three). Talk about partying, man, we were beeboppin' and a skattin' all over the place. I've learned Nan was right, my brother is never too big to carry. I've also learned no matter how big I am Elias will always be able to pick me up. You can click below for some pictures of our adventures and a special commentary on our July 3rd Celebration (enter the Mantis). Thanks for staying Eli!

Appalachian Trail!

In fond rememberance of a wonderful time, I have made this entry about my great summer hike with great friends during five days on the Appalachian Trail in the mountains of Virginia. We scaled the highest peak in the state, and still had time for peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. In early June of 2003, Chris Hewitt, Josh McKinnon, Chris Koenig and Travis Hellstrom faced mad cattle, rough switchbacks, difficult rice, challenging terrain, rough rhododendrons, pesky poison ivy, wicked wetness, heralded heat, germy jungle rot, periless peaks, prancing ponies and sideswipping sleet, all with heads equally shaven and smiles broad. Congratulations you pilgrims of pleasantry, dogooders of drought, borrowers of baldness, trekkers to timberlake and conquestadors of courage. Your journey will be forever remembered and treasured.

Hard Work

I think there is a Tiger Woods in all of us. When we watch him we are entranced, just like we used to be when we watched Michael Jordan. They aren’t much different in what they stand for. When I look at Tiger Woods I don’t see special golf clubs, special golf balls, special clothing, shoes, hats, tools or gear. When I watch Michael Jordan I don’t concentrate on his shoes, pants, shirt, bald head or socks either. Not even his Hanes. Both men are mesmerizing because they have been able to create greatness out of themselves, out of who they are naturally. I know that Tiger is better at golf than most people, naturally I think, and I believe the same goes for Jordan. But I think there are also other people out their with their same ability too, it’s something else that makes them better. They are great, it seems, because of their desire and their hard work. They embody the dream of the American people, who profess that anyone can become what they dream to be.
When I work on videomaking using my 2.00 GHz Pentium 4 processing, 768 Meg RAMing, Windows Movie Making version 2 running compy I think about other desktop computers, movie making software, photography programs, super RAM and virtual memory. I think about high end video cards and processors matched with miniDV camcorders that can create high powered, high digital quality video on a computer which can burn DVDs. I think about that top of the line movie making technology, its hefty price tag (≈ $1000) and that fact that it will be out of date in three years. Tiger probably thinks about this too sometimes, though I imagine the processor is replaced with some titanium/platinum shafted five iron and the super RAM is probably replaced by some super golf ball. But I bet Tiger is better at this than me. He is good because he works hard, he plays hard and he does what other people won’t do. He gives effort to his game that few professionals would ever consider, for one reason or another. Then, because of that effort, he wins for himself, his team and his fans trophy after trophy. What separates me from other people can be how hard I work, how hard I play and how much I desire to be the best in myself. I know in my heart that it’s not the program that fails me when I try to make a movie, it’s not my camcorder, my processor, video card or anything else but me. I have done some pretty impressive things when I gave all of my effort, and I’ve done things I don’t care much about when I didn’t care much about doing them. A new computer isn’t the answer to my difficulty in trying to become better, though maybe in ten years a new computer might make some things easier. A new program isn’t the answer either, the fact is that I just don’t try hard enough with what I’ve been given. Just like in Aesop fables, Disney movies and stories I was told when I was a kid, often the young character who thinks he or she is ready isn’t. In training, the young one is told to do simply tasks which they think below their ability. The fact is no task is below anyone and I am not ready to take on the best of the best, programs, computers, academics or anything, until I am good at taking on the simplest of tasks. When I become really really good at what I do, then I’m ready to move on.

Enjoyment

I think true rejuvenation comes from doing those things which give me excitement and energy, those things that I truly enjoy. However, the other day when I started to list things that I would call “my out” I listed a lot of things that I like, but were more normal than enjoyable, such as:

• Organizing – putting things in order so that I can enjoy them more easily, keep track of them, save them and store them carefully, whether it’s files, papers or movies and songs.
• Planning – looking at my schedule for the day or for the week, even sometimes for years ahead, contemplating the things I need to do while making time for things I like to do and things I would love to do.
• Reading – often productive materials, self improvement books or spiritual books. Though some of them are just for pure enjoyment, I usually prefer motivation or improvement literature.
• Sports Activities – playing football with friends, jumping rope, hiking in the wilderness, playing frisbee, walking, swimming around, lifting weights and running around are all very fun things to do. Sometimes I do them just for the fun of it, but I don’t often seek out those opportunities as often as I would like and not nearly as often as I need to.
• Networking – growing older I see more and more how energized I feel after talking with other people, learning more about them, and broadening my horizons to the possibilities of helping others and taking actions to help the world. I enjoy keep up with people, teachers, principals, friends, advisors, mentors and acquanticances and have, on more than one occasion, observed how our collective efforts can benefit large numbers of people which as always been of considerable motivation to me.

Thing traits have been very beneficial to me for many years, and I think they will aid in my personal health for a long time. In fact, I think of their characteristics will impart significant benefit to me in my future professional endeavors no matter what they may be.
However, as I listed certain things they clearly fit another category. They were things that were done simply because I truly enjoy them. These things really rejuvenate me and make me feel like I’m being bad, spoiling myself and somehow wasting my time (yet somehow, not):

• Exploring – when I go in my car sometimes and drive around at night or during the day, enjoying the environment, the wind, the sounds, the sights, the idea of getting lost, I enjoy the excitement of finding something new and freedom to stay out as long as I want.
• Meditating – I truly enjoy trying Buddhist practices, watching the world go by around me and not within me, trying to see universal humanity, my own role in this day and this life and sometimes, most difficultly, trying to meditate on absolutely nothing.
• Photography/Videography – making movies is often a great release for me, I love recording things so that I can put them together in some cohesive piece together. In many ways, I am connecting my life using memories of times I have enjoyed with others.
• Philosophy/Debate – integrated with journaling, I love debating with myself about emotions, thoughts and reality. I think most that falls under the auspices of philosophy, but I personally think that falls right under biology, the study of life. I enjoy talking with others, learning more about what they think and then thinking myself too.
• Journaling – as much as I love to think about things, I have become more and more convinced that I truly find closure to certain thoughts by writing them down. I constantly revise my thinking about all aspects of life, but each one can become its own journal entry. It can become difficult to keep it all organized some times, and even now I have a backlog of what I want to write about. However, I think writing in a journal is one of the healthiest mental activities that I take part in (while sports activities, again, can certainly not be ignored with all of their physical and mental benefits).

Happy Sparkeler Times

Happy July 3rd! My brother and I have officially celebrated the holiday, old-man-bike and sparkeler-style. We gathered our sparkeler gear, packed our pockets full of phosphorus matches and struck out on our Miami Sun three-wheeled beach bike. One lap around the neighborhood sufficed. We passed plenty of pleased peasantry on the way and made a miraculous time (from this point on Elias and Travis each added a word at a time) of doing great things with us. Happy Sparkeler Times we have succeeded! Now we will write about the new encounter with the July Praying Mantis. Travis almost fainted in seeing the mantis named “Killer”, jumping onto the camera that Travis threw to the ground. The batteries flew out of the camera, while he screamed like a girl. The mantis then jumped onto his leg while Travis threw around his leg trying to get it off, but the mantis clung to his sock and that was that.

Beginning

I received my Annonated Instructors Edition of the Becoming a Master Student 11th Edition in the mail today. I've read through the first 10 pages of the Course Manual and skimmed through the AIE enough to get some of a feel for it. I really think it's improved since my 9th edition and the students in the class should really get a lot out of it, especially after the class like I have. I look forward to looking more into the book and getting through the first Discovery Mission.

A Little Bit

I think I’ve figured out a little bit of who I want to be: I want to be the kind of person who can be with another person and make that person feel like they are everything I am thinking of. I want to sit down with a person and think about them such that they will know that I am thinking about just them. I don’t think I’ve ever been with a person who can do this. My Big Nanny said, “But I have read about them,” and I agreed. I have read about them too. They usually become famous enough that they are hard to meet. Mostly I can think of the Dalai Lama, Rachel Naomi Remen and Deepak Chopra at the moment, but I am sure there are more. Maybe Pope John Paul II and Billy Graham. The change I think becomes that to do this a person must be able to forget about themselves. The person has to be able to open themselves up and allow the person their listening to fill them in. It is very empathetic. I think this is a little bit of what I want to be.

Australia!

In the summer before my junior year in high school, I had the opportunity to travel to Australia for three weeks as a People to People Student Ambassador. I trekked through Sydney, jogged and played basketball through 2000 Olympic Stadium, road camels, flew in a hot air balloon and slept overnight in the famous Outback, snorkled in the Great Barrier Reef, stayed with a host family near Surfer´s Paradise and watched a sunrise at Ayer´s Rock, not to mention all kinds of the little places all in between. One of my fondest memories, Uluru, received a journal entry here that I would like to share.

"One the most moving sights I have enjoyed was made on my visit to Ayer’s Rock. Uluru, as it was named by the Australian indigenous Aboriginese people, is the world famous rock which stands in Australia’s Outback desert. It is featured in every Australian film from Crocodile Dundee to Rescuer’s Down Under. From far away it looks very small, smooth and round but as you walk around its base it is anything but small, standing hundreds of feet high, anything but smooth with ridges dozens of feet high running along its top and sides and more an oval than a circle. Thousands of years of wind have worn the rock with desert-sand like ridges that are even more beautiful than a smooth rock would be. Like a Mt. Everest on an island nation like Australia, it makes perfect sense that Uluru won the reputation and respect of its native people for thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of years. In ancient tales of the Aboriginese people, the great mountain of rock symbolized the beginning of all life. It was the center of many spiritual stories and a foundation to the cultures of almost every native tribe. As I watched the sun rise on the rock, changing the colors from purple to red to orange to yellow and later as I walked around the entire monolith, I began to understand some of what that must have been like. The Aboriginese people own the rights to the land, allowing them income, autonomy and desired respect in a country that has made leaps forward out of past prejudice toward native people. Today the native worshippers of Uluru still may have their ceremonies atop it, completing their story of life while allowing it to become part of mine. For that I am very grateful still today."

Five years later, I still agree wholeheartedly. I am very lucky to have visited the wonderful country of Australia. Until we meet again, "G´day Aussies!"