May 7, 2010

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is a tough concept for me. For instance, what's the opposite of forgiveness? I think maybe it's hate. Hate focuses on separation - the separation between us and whoever we hate. We feel different. We are right, they are wrong. We are good, they are bad. We judge, they deserve judgment. Hate loves judgment.

Oppositely, does forgiveness focus on togetherness, the connection between us and others?
We feel the same. It's not about right and wrong, good or bad. It's not about judgment. Forgiveness is love and love has no time for judgment.

Not only is forgiveness the opposite of hate, I think it might be the cure for it. If there is a part of you that can't forgive someone, I think that's hate. It feels like they should ask you for your forgiveness. They were wrong. They were bad. But that's not it.

You could spend your whole life waiting for someone to ask for your forgiveness. But you could decide this next second to ask for their forgiveness - for judging them, for separating yourself from them, for refusing to love them, for hating them. The only way I know to let go of that - to ask for their forgiveness. That, I've found, is one of the hardest things I have ever done.