Here’s something that’s been grinding on me for a while: meaningful friendships. It occurs to me that people define friendship differently. I have some friends who think you can be friends now, while we are close together in space and time, and then when we are far apart we are no longer friends. I may have tons of friends in high school or college or whenever, but then when I graduate I can probably never talk to you again and that’s okay. Actually, they probably prefer it. Then I have some friends who think that once we are friends we will remain friends for a long time afterward. We might travel to see each other or call each other now and then, but generally we will remain rather close. Maybe not in distance, but atleast we will remain in each others’ lives. Personally I like the second one and feel like the first one is pretty messed up. Sincerity, in my mind, requires that I mean it now and in the future when I say I care about you and I wish you the best in your life. Walking away after saying that and not looking back seems, to me, to be insincere.
Now, I am reasonable. I realize that it can be inefficient and difficult to constantly keep up with people you have known for a long time: to call them, to write them, to wonder about them. It is easier and more efficient, in the short term, to just be where you are and deal with the people immediately around you. Luckily the easiest things in life aren’t usually the best things, consistently, and efficiency isn’t how I define the meaningfulness of my life. I think, for me, it is very helpful and good, in both the long and the short term, to keep up with people I care about; that might mean a phone call once a year, or a visit once every few years, or a random message somewhere in between. Whatever the case, when I claim I’m your friend and I say I care about you, I mean that whether I’m around you or not. Please hold me to that, because that’s what I believe.
Now, I am reasonable. I realize that it can be inefficient and difficult to constantly keep up with people you have known for a long time: to call them, to write them, to wonder about them. It is easier and more efficient, in the short term, to just be where you are and deal with the people immediately around you. Luckily the easiest things in life aren’t usually the best things, consistently, and efficiency isn’t how I define the meaningfulness of my life. I think, for me, it is very helpful and good, in both the long and the short term, to keep up with people I care about; that might mean a phone call once a year, or a visit once every few years, or a random message somewhere in between. Whatever the case, when I claim I’m your friend and I say I care about you, I mean that whether I’m around you or not. Please hold me to that, because that’s what I believe.
